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Shift, Approach, Support

“I got a text from Sophie’s best friend telling me that Sophie is throwing away her lunch at school.  Should I confront her?”

“The toilet smelled like vomit after Andy took his shower last night.  He ate so much food at dinnertime.  I think he might be purging.  Should I confront him?”

“I thought I saw some cuts on Bianca’s wrist this morning, but she pulled her sleeves down before I could get a better look.  Should I confront her?”

Parents of my adolescent patients frequently ask me if they should confront their child when they receive concerning information about their child from a third party, or when they have a worrisome suspicion about their child but no actual proof.    

Let’s take a closer look.  The word “confront” typically connotes facing someone with hostile or argumentative intent.  Confrontation often conveys anger, suggests an accusation of wrongdoing, and brings up defensiveness in the child.  Confrontations can lead to explosive arguments, lashing out, or shutting down.  These reactions create or exacerbate the rift between parent and child, thus making it much harder for the parent to provide – and harder for the child to receive – the support and assistance that they need. For these reasons, I don’t recommend confrontation.

On the other hand, failing to act on information or suspicions about a child’s concerning behavior does not help the child either.  Keeping quiet may keep the peace, but it deprives the child of an opportunity to discuss what is troubling them, receive much-needed help, and overcome the problem.

Instead of confronting their teenager, I recommend that parents take the following steps when they have concerning information or suspicions:

Shift your perspective.  Rather than viewing your child as doing something wrong or deceptive, recognize their behaviors as signs of suffering, symptoms of an illness, or cries for help.   Think about how you would view your child if they had a more tangible ailment, such as a seizure, or a broken ankle, or an asthma attack. Most parents would view these symptoms not with blame, shame, or anger, but with concern and compassion. This is the same concern and compassion with which you should view a child who is secretly disposing of food, throwing up after meals, or harming themselves.

Approach your child privately, in a calm moment, with compassion and curiosity.  Share the information or suspicions that you have in a nonjudgmental, non-accusatory way.

“Sophie, someone at school saw you throw away your lunch in the cafeteria.  I’m curious about what is happening at lunchtime.”

“Andy, I thought I smelled some vomit in your bathroom last night.  I promise I’m not mad.  But I am worried about you.  Can you help me understand what’s going on?”

“Bianca, I could be mistaken, but thought I saw some cuts on your wrist yesterday.  I wanted to check in with you.  I know you’ve been feeling really depressed lately.  I wonder if you have been hurting yourself?”

Support your child. Express your love and concern for your child and ask how you can help them.  This may involve having an in-depth conversation with your child in that moment, if they are willing, and letting them know that you are always willing to talk with them about the issue in the future.   Ideally, you and your child can collaborate to help create a safer environment and work through the problem together.

“I love you very much, and I want to help you stop purging.  How can we work together to make this happen?  Would you like to walk the dog with me tonight after dinner?”

“I understand that this is difficult to talk about, so I won’t push you.  But please know that you can always come to me in the future whenever you are ready to talk.” 

 If your child shuts down or refuses your help, you may need to step in and provide support anyway.  Even without your child’s permission or buy-in, you can create a safer environment at home or at school by removing sharp objects, providing post-meal support, or arranging supported lunches.  In most cases, it will be helpful – or even necessary – for you to inform your child’s other caregivers and healthcare team about the symptoms, or arrange for your child to see a mental health professional if they are not currently working with someone.

“I am going to hide the sharp objects for a period of time to keep you safe, until you can get a handle on this symptom.  Also, Dr. Ravin needs to know about the self-harm so that she can help you.  Would you like to tell her yourself in your next session?  Would you like me to come to the session with you so we can tell her together?  Or would you rather I call and tell her about the cutting before you meet with her?”

The SHIFT, APPROACH, SUPPORT strategy helps to disarm anxious or angry teens, nurture connectedness and trust, and empower parents to help their children.

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Dishonesty in Eating Disorders

“Everybody lies.” This was the credo of the titular character in one of my all-time favorite shows: House, MD.  And of course, it is true.  From the saints to the malignant narcissist politicians and everyone in between, no one is completely honest all the time. 

When it comes to eating disorder treatment, there is an unsettling phenomenon that is not discussed as much as it should be: the majority of eating disorder patients are dishonest about their symptoms.   The dishonesty can range from occasionally telling their parents that they ate lunch while out with friends when they did not, to a minimization of symptoms, such as reporting to their therapist that they binged and purged twice in the past week when really it was six times, to a long-term deception, such as throwing away snacks for weeks or months on end while claiming to have eaten them, or performing hours of secret calisthenics in a locked bathroom or closet.  With restrictive eating disorders such as Anorexia Nervosa (AN) or Avoidant-Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID), the deception often takes the form of manipulating the number on the scale by water loading right before weigh-ins or hiding heavy objects in their undergarments.  

Dishonesty about symptoms is absolutely the rule, not the exception, for all eating patients ranging from innocent elementary school children who know nothing about eating disorders to the most seasoned treatment veterans who have been ill for decades and have experienced multiple stints in hospitals and treatment centers. Individuals with AN, in particular, are often very well-behaved, perfectionistic, rule-abiding individuals who have never misbehaved, and never been in trouble.  Many of these kids are extremely honest with a strong moral compass; that is, until AN swept into their lives and took over their psyche. 

Why is this deception so pervasive in eating disorder treatment, and what can we do about it? 

First, it is important to understand why the patient is being dishonest.  Eating disorder patients may be deceptive for any number of reasons.  The most common reasons include:

  1. Extreme fear of eating and/or weight gain.
  2. Desire to please or appease their parents or treatment providers.
  3. Fear of the negative consequences of telling the truth about symptoms or revealing their true weight, which may include losing independence, being hospitalized, entering a higher level of care, having to withdraw from sports or take a leave of absence from college.
  4. Extreme shame or embarrassment about engaging in the symptoms (this is especially true for people who struggle with binge eating and / or purging symptoms).
  5. Desire to appear “better” so that they can end treatment before they are truly ready.
  6. Distorted perception of their eating or exercise behaviors (people with AN and ARFID tend to overestimate the amount of food that they eat and the caloric content of their food, so they may report that they are eating enough to maintain weight when in reality they are not).
  7. Distorted perception of what is “normal” or “healthy,” either due to the eating disorder or due to environment (for example, a 14-year-old soccer player rising at 5:00 AM to run 5 miles each morning and failing to mention this habit to the treatment team because his parents and older siblings do the same).

I recommend that treatment providers, parents, and loved ones of eating disorder patients take the following steps to address dishonesty:

Recognize the deception for what it is: a symptom of the eating disorder.

The patient is not lying because they are manipulative or immoral; they are lying because they have a severe mental illness that makes them absolutely terrified to do exactly what it is that they need to do to recover.

Deception in an eating disorder is no different than a seizure in epilepsy or low blood sugar in diabetes.  It is par for the course of the illness and it is not the patient’s fault.  I do not mean this in a fatalistic way.  Eating disorder patients can develop the skills to be honest in recovery just as diabetics can utilize medications and dietary changes to control blood sugar.

Meet the patient with nonjudgment, empathy, and compassion.

When deception is discovered, remain calm and gentle.  If the patient “came clean” and admitted to having lied in the past, commend him for his honesty now.  Make it abundantly clear that you are not angry or disappointed (even if you secretly feel angry or disappointed inside).  Rather, you are grateful that he has revealed this information because now you have important data to help support him more fully in his recovery.  Let the patient know that you understand the deception as part of his eating disorder, not a reflection on his true character.

Explore the emotions that have arisen for the patient surrounding the deception and surrounding the disclosure of deception. 

Did he feel guilty for lying over a period of time?  Was she experiencing extreme inner conflict between the compulsion to engage in an eating disorder behavior vs. a drive to follow the treatment recommendations?  Is he feeling ashamed, or relieved, now that the secret is out in the open?  Helping the patient explore these thoughts and feelings around the deception helps him feel heard and validated and also opens the door for a deeper connection. 

Initiate a dialogue with the patient to help discover what is motivating the eating disorder behaviors.

Why is the patient throwing away her lunches?  Does she dislike the food?  Are her friends all dieting?  Is she studying during lunchtime instead of eating?  Is she too full after a large breakfast and morning snack?  Is she afraid of gaining weight?  Is she embarrassed to eat “so much” in front of her peers?  There may be multiple motivations behind the behavior.  Some of the motivations may be disordered (e.g., a strong desire to lose weight) and some may be perfectly normal (e.g., not liking the taste of the food or not being hungry).  Regardless of the motivation(s) behind the eating disordered behaviors, the behaviors must stop.  To someone with an eating disorder, skipping lunch because “school food sucks” is just as dangerous as skipping lunch due to drive for thinness.

Ascertain the reason(s) for the deception.

Many eating disorder patients have very good reason for being deceptive, and their reasons should be understood and respected (though not necessarily condoned).  This is analogous, in a sense, to the reality that most LGBTQIA individuals were “in the closet” until this century, and many are still in the closet today.  Being honest about their sexuality or gender identity would have led to discrimination, ridicule, oppression, disownment, or worse.   Pretending to be straight or cisgender was an act of self-protection, born of realistic fear.

Whether you are the parent, the therapist, the dietitian, or the boyfriend, ask the patient whether there is something about you, or something about your relationship with them, that drives them to be dishonest.  For example, many patients are very attuned to their parents’ anxiety, and the parents’ anxiety feeds into the child’s anxiety.  Patients may hide or minimize their symptoms to control their parents’ anxiety as a roundabout way to manage their own anxiety.  Some treatment providers or parents may outwardly express disappointment in the patient or anger towards him when he has lost weight or struggled with eating disorder symptoms.  Whether you are a parent or a treatment provider, it is natural to feel angry, disappointed, or terrified when your child or patient is struggling with symptoms.  However, expressing these emotions directly to the patient is rarely helpful and may even make the situation worse.

Use this conversation to help build trust and resilience and to create an environment more conducive to recovery and honesty.

If the patient is minimizing symptoms due to shame or embarrassment, talk about it!  The best way to unpack and dismantle shame is to bring it out into the open. Try to understand why the patient is feeling ashamed (perhaps because the eating disorder is compelling him to act in ways that are incongruent with his personal values and goals), and help him begin to let go of the shame.  Let him know that there is no shame in being authentic about struggles and seeking help. 

If the patient is dishonest about symptoms due to fear of making their parents anxious, angry, or disappointed, then part of the parents’ work is to learn to manage their own emotions around their child’s symptoms.  Therapists are trained to do this.  Parents are not, and it is much harder for parents to be neutral or objective about their own children, especially when their children are unwell.  This is one of many reasons why therapists are not supposed to treat their own children!  Parents can have conversations with their children about how they can best respond to their child’s symptoms in a way that promotes honesty.   

Change the environment to make it very difficult, if not impossible, for the dishonesty to persist. 

Leaving a patient to struggle with the eating disorder without adequate support is cruel and sets everyone up for failure and disappointment.  If the patient has been skipping lunches or snacks, it is best to arrange support and supervision around lunch and snacks for a sustained period of time – usually weeks or months – until the patient is well enough to eat on her own.  If the patient has been secretly binge eating in the evenings, arrange some support around that vulnerable time period, such as watching a family movie together or going for a walk.  If the patient has been hiding heavy objects in his clothing for weigh-ins, consider doing future weigh-ins with minimal clothing, or on random days, to make it harder for the patient to prepare. 

Frame the dishonesty, the disclosure, and the subsequent collaborative problem-solving as a stepping stone towards a stronger recovery and a more trusting relationship.

Everyone makes mistakes and experiences setbacks.  This is a natural and inevitable part of recovery.  These experiences, if handled skillfully, can help the patient build a stronger foundation for full and lasting recovery and help build a deeper trust in their support system to keep them safe and healthy.

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ARFID 101

Earlier today, I was honored to present a webinar on Avoidant-Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) for Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment for Eating Disorders (FEAST).

AFRID is a relatively new diagnostic category which was first added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – Volume 5 (DSM-5) in 2013. ARFID is characterized by a pattern of avoidant or restrictive eating behaviors which led to significant nutritional, medical, developmental, and/or social-emotional consequences. Individuals with ARFID may restrict their food intake for a variety of reasons. Some individuals are hypersensitive to textures, tastes, and smells and feel comfortable with only a narrow variety of foods. Others don’t experience hunger cues, derive little pleasure or enjoyment from eating, and seem to have little interest in food. Still others begin restricting their food intake abruptly after a food-related trauma, such as choking, vomiting, or having an allergic reaction. Unlike those with Anorexia Nervosa or Bulimia Nervosa, patients with ARFID do not experience drive for thinness, fear of weight gain, or distorted body image.

Treatments for ARFID include Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Family-Based Treatment (FBT).

My PowerPoint slides from the presentation are available below. The recorded webinar will be available on the FEAST website within the next few days.

ARFID-101 PowerpointDownload

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Empowering Parents to Support Adolescent Eating Disorder Recovery

I am honored to be spotlighted by LEAD, inc as a mental health advocate.  LEAD is a nonprofit mental health advocacy organization founded in 2012 by a group of high school students.   LEAD offers innovative, engaging, evidence-based programs which improve early intervention for mental illness.

As a clinical psychologist treating children, adolescents, and young adults, I am a strong proponent of early, aggressive, evidence-based interventions for young people who are struggling with mental illnesses.  My personal and professional values align closely with those of LEAD, so I was thrilled when LEAD asked me to publish a VIP guest post for their blog!  My post went live yesterday.  This piece describes a topic about which I am passionate: Empowering Parents to Support Adolescent Eating Disorder Recovery. 

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Parent-Focused Treatment: An Attractive Alternative to FBT

The results of a randomized clinical trial (RCT) comparing Parent-Focused Treatment (PFT) and Family-Based Treatment (FBT) for adolescent Anorexia Nervosa (AN) were published this month in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.  As a practitioner of FBT, and as a clinician who is always looking for ways to improve patient outcomes, I read this article with great interest.

Family-Based Treatment (FBT), when applied strictly according to the manual, entails a psychologist or other mental health professional meeting with the family as a whole – the adolescent patient, both parents, and siblings – in a single session.  In contrast, Parent-Focused Treatment (PFT) involves the psychologist meeting privately with the parents, while the patient’s weight, vitals, and mental status are monitored by a nurse.

While FBT and PFT therapy sessions are conducted in different formats, the essence of the treatment – which is implemented by parents in the home – is the same.  Both treatments empower parents to work together to increase their adolescent’s food intake, restore him or her to a healthy weight, interrupt eating disordered behaviors, re-establish normal eating patterns, and return him or her to a state of healthy adolescent development.

The results of this study demonstrated that PFT is more efficacious than FBT.  At the end of treatment, patients receiving PFT were twice as likely to be in remission from AN compared with patients receiving FBT.  In addition to being published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, the article was summarized nicely by the Murdoch Children’s Research Institute.

As I was reading this article, it occurred to me that I have been utilizing a version of PFT with some families in my private practice for years, as I have adapted FBT to suit the needs of each individual family.   For example, it is not uncommon for an adolescent patient with AN to refuse to attend some or all of the family sessions during Phase I (the re-feeding and weight restoration phase).  Personally, I have not found this to be problematic.  After all, in an FBT model, the parents are the primary agents of change in early recovery from AN.   The patient is more of a passive recipient of care – his or her job is simply to show up at the table and eat.

In my experience, most parents make excellent use of the Phase I sessions to receive support, learn more about AN, brainstorm and problem-solve, and collaborate with their spouse in the re-feeding process.  All of these things can be done with or without the child present, so long as the child’s weight is monitored weekly.  The weekly weigh-ins can be completed at the pediatrician’s office or under parental supervision at home.

As another example, many patients are so anxious about eating high-calorie foods, gaining weight, and eliminating exercise that attending sessions –during which these topics are discussed at length – is just too overwhelming.  Increasing a patient’s anxiety can sometimes be counterproductive to treatment goals.  For instance, if the patient is present during discussions of “fortifying” foods (e.g., increasing the caloric density by adding cream, oil, butter, or Benecalorie) or discussions of weight goals, this may heighten her anxiety to the point that she cannot eat these fortified foods, or she may become even more resistant to gaining weight.    For an underweight patient with AN, talking and listening are over-rated.  Eating and gaining weight are essential.

In my experience, patients who do not attend sessions during Phase I tend to have just as much success in recovery as patients who attend every single session.  Furthermore, the vast majority of the time, the kids who refuse to attend sessions in Phase I will begin to attend sessions voluntarily after weight restoration occurs and their treatment progresses through Phase II and Phase III.  By that time, most patients have the cognitive and emotional capacity to participate in their own recovery process and have some interest in getting better.

On the other hand, there are some cases in which it makes more sense to have the patient attend all of the FBT sessions, cases in which her participation in the treatment enhances her success in recovery.  Often (though not always), these are cases in which the patient is older, more independent, less cognitively impaired, less anxious, more curious about the process, and/or has some degree of personal motivation to recover at the outset.

I have also found that it is also very important for the patient to attend all sessions in cases where the parents are less willing or less able to take full responsibility for their child’s recovery.   For instance, I’ve worked with families in FBT in which both parents have active addictions to drugs or alcohol, families in which another member is coping with a health crisis (e.g., a parent with a recent cancer diagnosis), families in which the parents are going through an acrimonious divorce, and large families with many young children.   These have been cases in which the parents, while supportive in theory, were unable to invest as much time and energy into their child’s recovery as other families.  The patients from these families, in my observation, tended to be more resilient and more autonomous than other teens, likely .as a result of growing up in challenging environments.  I have observed that the adolescents in these more challenging situations have been able to (or perhaps required to) take on a greater degree of independence earlier in the recovery process.

The outcomes of this clinical trial were disappointingly low for both forms of treatment.  At the end of treatment, only 43% of patients receiving PFT had achieved remission, and only 22% of patients receiving FBT achieved remission.   Before you become discouraged, however, please allow me to explain my theories as to why remission rates were so low.

First, I believe that the poor outcomes of this study were, at least in part, due to the fact that families were randomly assigned to one type of treatment or the other.   Of course, in conducting a controlled clinical trial to study the efficacy of treatments, it is necessary to use random assignment to control for confounding variables and increase the validity of the results.  I suspect that if families were able to choose between PFT and FBT based on their own needs, desires, circumstances, and knowledge of their child, the outcomes would have been significantly more promising.  This has certainly proven to be true in my practice.

Consider the “treatment refusers” I described above, with whom I have effectively used PFT essentially by default.  On the other hand, consider the teens who come from more challenging family environments, whose participation early in treatment is instrumental to their recovery.  If the families with “treatment refusers” were randomly assigned to Family-Based Treatment, or if families with other significant challenges were randomly assigned to Parent-Focused Treatment, I suspect that the patient would be much less likely to occur.

Second, the course of treatment in this study was 18 sessions over the course of 6 months.  This sounds woefully insufficient to me.  In my experience, some patients do achieve full remission within 6 months, but this is certainly not the norm.  In my practice, most patients with AN are fully weight-restored within 3 or 4 months, but full remission of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral symptoms generally takes 12-18 months of treatment.   It is not unusual for patients to require 2 or 3 years of treatment in order to attain full remission and become ready to manage their eating independently.

I point out these time frames because I do not want patients or their families to feel discouraged when recovery takes so much longer than they expected.  The patients in these clinical trials who did not achieve full remission at end of treatment are the NORM, not the exception, and this is not due to any failure on the part of the patient or the parents.  Rather, the research study itself places unrealistic expectations on individuals with AN and their families.   Any clinician who has treated many patients with AN could tell you that full remission after 6 months is simply unrealistic for a majority of AN sufferers.  Individuals who have gone through treatment for AN, and parents who have helped their children recover, know all too well that vestiges of AN are often present for many months after weight has been fully restored.

I am confident that the majority of adolescents with AN who are not in full remission after 6 months of treatment will go on to achieve full remission within two or three years, especially when they utilize evidence-based, family-centered care.

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World Eating Disorders Action Day

Today – June 2, 2016 – is the first annual World Eating Disorders Action Day.

In honor of this day, my esteemed colleague, Dr. Tarah Martos, and I hosted the first annual South Florida Parent Summit on Eating Disorders.  The summit provided a unique opportunity for parents of eating disorder sufferers to unite, empower one another, and learn from each other.   We spoke with the parents about envisioning recovery, relapse prevention, and a promising new treatment from Colombia University which involves habit reversal.   The lovely parents who attended the summit, despite having sons and daughters of different ages and with different presentations of illness, felt an instant connection with one another, and a freedom in discussing their experiences with other parents who really, truly get it.

I am proud that World Eating Disorders Action Day exists, and I am honored to be a part of it.   The public health messages surrounding this day have been devoted to increasing awareness that eating disorders are serious but treatable illnesses, caused by a complex interaction of genes and environment, which affect people of all ages, genders, socioeconomic statuses, and ethnic backgrounds.   These are messages I stand behind as a psychologist, as a writer, as an activist, and as a mother of a little girl whom I hope can come of age in a world where the content of these public service announcements is common knowledge.

 

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The Power of Families

The first World Eating Disorders Action Day (WEDAD) will be held on June 2, 2016.  This is an event that I support with hope and enthusiasm.  Since opening my private practice in 2009, I have been an advocate for, and practitioner of, evidence-based treatments for eating disorders and related mental health conditions.

In my clinical practice, I am consistently awed and inspired by the power of families.  Parents have unique knowledge about their children and unparalleled investment in their children’s long-term well-being.  In addition, parents are full-time witnesses to their children’s moods, behaviors, and eating habits.

It should not come as a surprise, then, that patients are more likely to recover when their parents are actively involved in their treatment.  The scientific evidence base is strongest for Family-Based Treatment (FBT), also known as the Maudsley Approach, which empowers parents to intervene directly to help their child restore a healthy weight, resume normal eating patterns, and return to typical adolescent development.   I have utilized FBT since opening my practice, and the results I have observed are nothing short of astounding.

And yet, in the world of eating disorder treatment, parents continue to be pushed aside and dismissed.   It is common practice for a 14-year-old with Anorexia Nervosa to meet privately with a dietitian as her worried parents (who do the family’s grocery shopping and cooking) remain in the waiting room.  Treatment centers often tout “family involvement” as part of their program, but this may amount to nothing more than a weekend visit during their daughter’s 2-month stay.   The professionals in charge may devise a treatment plan for a teenage patient, but the parents never see the document, let alone participate in creating it.

This is unacceptable in 2016.  We know better.

My clinical practice is based upon the belief that parents should be fully informed and actively involved in their child’s treatment.   I convey to parents that they are the experts on their child, and they are the leaders of their child’s treatment team.  I encourage parents to ask questions, to raise concerns, to speak up when they disagree with something I say.  As an expert in eating disorder treatment, I work as a consultant to the parents on behalf of the child.   My goal, then, is to become obsolete as the family learns to help their child recover and stay well.

There are professionals who see patients weekly as outpatients and professionals who see patients for weeks or months at a time in treatment centers.  Then there are parents who spend a lifetime as guardians of their children’s health.  For decades, the balance of power in eating disorder treatment has rested firmly with the professionals.  As our field advances, I would like to see the balance of power shift towards families.  I would like for families to receive more information, more tools, and more coaching in how to help their loved one thrive.  I would like to witness an era of transparency, accessibility, and open communication in which clinicians present to families the full range of treatment options, explain to families what interventions they use and why, along with evidence supporting them.

In this spirit of parent empowerment and true collaboration between families and clinicians, my colleague, Dr. Tarah Martos, and I are honoring World Eating Disorders Action Day by hosting the first annual South Florida Parent Summit on Eating Disorders.   This event, held at my office in Coral Gables on June 2, will involve psycho-education, information, coaching, and parent-to-parent support.   Our goal is to help parents feel confident and competent to guide their loved one towards full recovery.

Families are intrinsically powerful.  As a psychologist, my job is not to grant power to parents, snatch power from them, or wield power over them.  Rather, my job is to remind parents that they have always held the power to help their children heal, grow, and thrive.  I strive to provide parents with the support, guidance, and information they need to unleash their parental power and use it to fight the eating disorder on behalf of their beloved child.

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After Weight Restoration: The Role of Motivation

Motivation is the process that initiates, guides, and maintains goal-oriented behaviors. It involves the biological, emotional, social, and cognitive forces that activate behavior. Basically, motivation is what drives us to act.

In eating disorder circles, motivation generally refers to an inner drive to achieve or maintain recovery. Given that anosognosia is a primary symptom of Anorexia Nervosa (AN), most patients have little or no insight or motivation while they are ill. When a person does not perceive herself as ill, she will not be motivated to recover. When a person perceives himself as superior while undernourished, emaciated, and hyperactive, he will be highly motivated to maintain his AN.

Fortunately, motivation is not necessary to begin recovering from AN. In Family-Based Treatment (FBT), motivation is neither expected nor required of patients during Phase I (re-feeding and weight restoration). So long as the parents are highly motivated to return their child to good health (as most parents certainly are), patient motivation is unnecessary.

There are two types of motivation:

Extrinsic motivation is a drive to perform an activity to attain a particular outcome. Extrinsic motivations come from outside the individual. For example, a student is motivated to study in order to earn good grades and gain admission to an elite college.

Intrinsic motivation is an inner drive to perform an activity for personal reasons, based on interest or enjoyment of the task itself. Intrinsic motivation exists even in the absence of external reward. For example, a young artist who is passionate about painting spends hours in the studio completely immersed in her art.

Parenting often involves the use of extrinsic motivation early on, as a pathway to developing intrinsic motivation. A toddler is motivated to use the toilet by getting a star on her chart; a preschooler is motivated to follow her parents’ rules to avoid getting a time-out; a teenager is motivated to be home by curfew to avoid getting grounded.

The ultimate goal of parenting, of course, is for the children to grow into independent adults who are no longer dependent on extrinsic motivation to exist in society. Eventually, the child feels intrinsically motivated to use the toilet because sitting in soiled underpants is uncomfortable; she is kind to her friends and siblings because it is the morally correct thing to do and she wants to maintain good relationships with them; she comes home at a decent hour so that she can get a good night’s sleep and function well the following day.

Similarly, a long-term goal of treatment for Anorexia Nervosa is for the patient to be intrinsically motivated to stay healthy and remain in recovery. But while we wait for intrinsic motivation to develop, it is perfectly fine and, in many instances, absolutely necessary, to impose external motivations in order to nudge the person along towards recovery.

Patients with Anorexia Nervosa often have little or no intrinsic motivation to recover during their acute phase of illness. In fact, most patients are highly motivated to continue engaging in eating disorder behaviors because there are powerful biological, psychological, and social forces compelling them to do so. For this reason, it is often essential to use extrinsic motivations of some sort to get patients to engage in recovery-oriented behavior such as eating meals, gaining weight, refraining from purging, and attending appointments with their treatment team.

Patients with AN are often compliant, rule-abiding people-pleasers. We can harness these traits in a positive way to promote recovery. It is common for patients to report that they are eating and gaining weight to make their parents happy or to please their doctors. It is even more common for patients to comply with re-feeding and maintain their ideal weight in order to avoid hospitalization or continue playing the sport they love.

Parents often worry that, if left to her own devices, their child would most certainly eat too little, exercise too much, start purging again, and fall down the rabbit hole once more. This worry is completely valid, and this is precisely why patients need a very high level of support and monitoring for a long time after diagnosis. Incidentally, the need for a high level of support and monitoring continues for much, much, much longer than what is provided by most treatment programs or paid for by most insurance companies. One of the reasons why patients need such high levels of support for so long is that intrinsic motivation is neither realistic nor possible for most patients until they are further along in recovery.

While acutely ill patients often lack the motivation to recover, many patients who are weight-restored and further along in their psychological recovery feel very motivated to stay well. I believe that there are several reasons for this shift in motivation in the later stages of recovery:

1.) The ability to think more clearly, thanks to a well-nourished brain and body.

2.) Maturity. Patients get older and more mature as they progress through recovery, and thanks to a more developed prefrontal cortex, they can think ahead, make plans, and follow through with their intentions.

3.) Perspective. Patients in the later stages of recovery have often been through hell and back. They have reclaimed their lives, and while they may not remember much of the acute phase of their illness, they know it was awful and they have no intention of going back.

4.) Parental intervention. Parents who have helped their children recover from AN tend to be extremely motivated to help them stay well. Perhaps more importantly, they feel empowered to use the tools and strategies they’ve learned through treatment to maintain an environment conducive to ongoing recovery and to set limits, without hesitation, on any behavior that jeopardizes recovery.

Motivation seems to be the natural consequence of restored health and improved insight. Once an adolescent or young adult is no longer encumbered by AN, he begins to realize how sick he once was, and how much AN ruined his life. As he returns to school, sports, hobbies, and an active social life, he begins to build a life worth living. This new life motivates him to stay in recovery and deters him from engaging in behaviors that could lead to relapse.

I have found that older adolescents and young adults are often motivated to stay in recovery in order to achieve their goals. For example, they want to go away to college or graduate school, they want to study abroad, they want to get married and have children, they want to travel the world, they want to have a rich and meaningful life that is not dominated by intrusive thoughts about carbs or calories or the circumference of their thighs.

How can you enhance motivation in someone who is recovering from AN? Well, intrinsic motivation, by definition, must grow and flourish from within. It cannot be imposed upon someone from the outside. However, there are a few things that family members and clinicians can do which may facilitate development of intrinsic motivation:

1.) Help the person build a full, rich, meaningful life.

2.) Remind the person periodically (not forcefully or frequently) that his new life would not be possible without continued recovery.

3.) Highlight and enhance the personal characteristics that have helped the person achieve and maintain recovery (e.g., “You are such a strong, courageous, dedicated person to have overcome this illness”).

4.) Help the person identify his core values and support him in living a life that is congruent with these values. What is most important in life? How does he want to be remembered by loved ones after he dies? Unless the person is acutely ill with AN, he is unlikely to say that being thin, exercising excessively, or avoiding sugar and flour his core values.

Staying focused on core values and pursuing a meaningful life are powerful motivators and potent antidotes to the anorexic thoughts that come to visit from time to time.

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After Weight Restoration: The Role of Insight

One of the hallmark symptoms of Anorexia Nervosa (AN) is anosognosia, or a brain-based inability to recognize that one is sick. For this reason, most patients have little or no insight when they first present for treatment. Even months into effective treatment, most patients with AN continue to demonstrate anosognosia from time to time, if not consistently. The irony here is that most patients with AN do not believe they are sick until after they have gotten well.

I am outspoken in my belief that insight is unnecessary, not to mention unlikely, in early recovery from Anorexia Nervosa (AN). I do not expect my patients to have any insight whatsoever early on in their treatment with me. I expect kids with AN to present in my office denying that they have a problem. Their lack of insight does not delay or undermine treatment one bit.

In Family-Based Treatment (FBT), the patient is not required to demonstrate any insight at all during Phase I (Re-feeding and weight restoration). Phase II (returning control of eating to the adolescent) and even Phase III (establishing a healthy adolescent identity) can be successfully completed with a relatively small amount of insight on the patient’s part.

The re-feeding and weight-restoration components of treatment can be achieved without the patient’s consent or compliance. Through FBT and similar family-centered approaches, parents can feed their children complete, balanced nutrition and ensure that they maintain a healthy weight for as long as necessary. In theory, a patient could exist in an externally-maintained state of physical health forever, which would be far better than suffering the long-term medical and psychological consequences of AN. But this is not recovery.

Children and younger teens tend to lack the maturity to develop good insight even after their AN has been in remission for quite some time. Lack of insight is completely normal at this stage of development, even for kids who have never had a brain disorder. It is not necessarily problematic for recovering adolescents to lack insight as long as they are living safely under their parents’ roof.

For older adolescents and young adults, however, there comes a point later in recovery, after physical health is restored and most mental symptoms have subsided, when a patient does need to develop some insight about their illness and “own their recovery.” Patients do not need insight to get well, but they certainly do need insight in order to live a healthy, fulfilling, independent life.

As a side note here, the type of insight I am referring to here has nothing to do with “discovering the root cause” or “learning to love yourself” or “finding your voice” or any of the other talking points commonly referenced in ED recovery circles. The important insights to gain, in my opinion, are the following:

1.) Acknowledging and accepting that you have (or had) an eating disorder, which is a biologically-based brain illness that you did not choose to have and your parents did not cause

2.) Acknowledging and accepting the possibility of relapse

3.) Ability to recognize eating disordered thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in yourself

4.) Understanding the necessity of maintaining full nutrition, every day, for life

5.) Accepting the necessity of maintaining your ideal body weight in order to reduce the risk of relapse

How do you help a person who is recovering from AN to develop insight? It’s tricky, and it varies considerably based upon the patient’s own unique experience of having AN. Unlike full nutrition and weight restoration, insight cannot be thrust upon someone against their will. The patient must be an active participant in the process.

I find it helpful, as a therapist, to have frank conversations with patients and their parents about the biological basis of AN, potential triggers, vulnerability to relapse, and the importance of practicing good self-care. A single conversation at the start of treatment is rarely sufficient. Instead, I integrate these conversations into most of our sessions to help the patient absorb and internalize this information. For the first few months of treatment, these discussions are primarily for the benefit of the parents, as most kids are too malnourished and shut-down to process this information. However, after weight restoration and brain healing, these discussions can have a powerful impact on recovering kids.

Parents often have these insight-building conversations with their recovering teens at home. Often, teens will get defensive, shut down, or lash out when parents bring up these topics. But sometimes kids actually listen!

Many weight-restored patients go through a phase of romanticizing their AN, longing to return to the days of extreme thinness, perpetual motion, and hyper-focus on academics and athletics. While these feelings are understandable and typical at a certain stage of recovery, they need to be counterbalanced with conversations about the negative impact AN had on their bodies, their minds, and their lives. Otherwise, it is all too easy for recovering people to view AN through “rose-colored glasses.”

Bear in mind that the development of insight can take years. Recovered teens who initially presented for treatment at age 13-14 (the typical age of onset) will often show a blossoming of insight around age 17-18, just as they are preparing to leave home for college. This newfound insight is often the result of a variety of factors, including consistent full nutrition, brain healing, normal adolescent developmental processes, maturity, frontal lobe development, and successful therapy. I have worked with many adolescents for whom this happens beautifully, organically, and right on time. These kids go off to college in other states and thrive.

In other cases, however, the timing may be far less convenient. Those who develop AN at 16 or 17 years of age may not be sufficiently recovered to develop the insight needed to manage their illness independently at that magical age of 18. Similarly, who relapse during their junior or senior year of high school may have a setback in the process of insight development and thus may not be ready for independence right after high school.

In some cases, kids are diagnosed in childhood or early adolescence but don’t receive effective treatment until late adolescence. In these cases, it may take even longer for insight to develop if the illness has become entrenched and emotional maturity lags far behind chronological age.

Further, teens who have suffered through months or years of ineffective treatment may have built up an arsenal of bogus myth-based insight that has nothing to do with the reality of their illness. For example:

• “I developed AN as a way to cope with feeling out of control in life.”

• “I have to want to get better on my own. I have to do this for myself.”

• “Re-feeding doesn’t help us discover the root cause of your illness.”

• “I am enmeshed with my parents and this is keeping me sick. I need to become more independent.”

These myth-based “insights” very often result in parental alienation and protracted illness.

As you can see, all insight is not equal. The insights worth having are those that are based in empirical science, those that empower parents to help their offspring recover, and those that serve to help patients achieve and maintain their physical and mental health while living a full and meaningful life.

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Weight Gain Predicts Psychological Improvement in Anorexia Nervosa

A recent study published in the journal Behavior Research and Therapy demonstrated that weight gain was a significant predictor of improved psychological functioning in adolescents undergoing treatment for anorexia nervosa (AN). In other words, adolescents who gained more weight during treatment did better mentally than those who gained less weight. This study also showed that weight gain early in the course of treatment had a greater impact on psychological recovery than weight gain later in the course of treatment.

This finding is extremely relevant not only to clinicians who treat adolescent AN, but also to the adolescent patients themselves and their families. The process of re-feeding and restoring weight often feels agonizing for patients and may cause tremendous stress to caregivers. Psychological recovery lags behind physical recovery, so patients often feel worse before they start to feel better. This study provides objective evidence that it is in the patient’s best interest – both physically and psychologically – to eat more and gain weight as soon as possible after diagnosis.

Weight gain is an essential component of treatment for patients with AN. The knowledge that full nutrition is necessary to repair the physical damage caused by AN – including weakened heart, low blood pressure, hypothermia, osteoporosis, stress fractures, lanugo, amenorrhea, infertility, and risk of premature death – helps many patients and families to persevere through the difficult days of re-feeding. Now, patients and families can hold onto hope that weight restoration will bring about psychological improvement as well. This study provides families with direct scientific evidence that gaining weight gives their loved one a greater chance of recovering mentally, emerging from the fog of depression, and reclaiming a meaningful life free from food and weight preoccupation.

Patients in this study were randomly assigned to receive either Family-Based Treatment (FBT) or Adolescent Focused Treatment (AFT). The authors of this study found that weight gain predicted psychological recovery regardless of the type of treatment (FBT vs. AFT) the patient received. This finding may be especially relevant to clinicians who treat adolescent AN using individual therapy. A common criticism of FBT (usually made by clinicians who reject FBT without really understanding it) is that it focuses on weight gain at the expense of the adolescent’s psychological wellbeing. This study clearly demonstrates that weight gain and improved psychological functioning are not mutually exclusive. On the contrary, weight gain and improved psychological functioning are strongly correlated!

It is clear that FBT supports the adolescent’s psychological wellbeing indirectly by promoting regular nutrition and steady weight gain, which help to repair the brain damage caused by malnutrition. I would also argue that FBT has a direct impact on the adolescent’s psychological wellbeing by externalizing the illness, removing any sense of self-blame the adolescent may have, supporting her emotionally, and relieving her of the burden of fighting this deadly illness alone.